Play Ball!! Cardinals, Rangers, and a Few Twists

  Well the World Series starts tonight.  My son is a great Cardinals fan, and I think even he is amazed they are there.  Leave it to the Cardinals just to slide in to the Wild Card on the last day of regular season.  Of course the Rangers were supposed to make it.    All of that is irrelevant now… the first team to 4 wins.

  Here in Greenville it feels like baseball weather… its the first day to turn heat on after the summer hiatus.  Cool weather moved in yesterday, a little drizzling rain that made you wonder if you were in Buffalo, NY.  I can’t imagine its any better in Dallas or St. Louis.  We’ll see.

  Of course, as always, they are wondering about the TV audience.  Gone are the days when half the nation was parked in front of the radio to hear the Yankees and Dodgers.  There’s a lot of competition.  Baseball has to work a little harder now for its audience.   I know what they can do, however, that would certainly get everyone tuned in… “Little League Rules!”

  That’s right, play the World Series by Little League rules.  I don’t mean “Williamsport Little League” rules… I mean the real rules played out on dirt fields all across the country every summer.  Here are just a few…

   1.  The right fielder must have a bunch of buddies harassing him from the right field foul line through out the game.  If he messes up, they get to laugh and point at him.

  2. You get five pitches… then you have to hide your shame and hit it off the tee.

  3.  If you get on base by an overthrow that is considered a hit, and should the fielding  team toss it around like a pinball machine, and you score, that is a home run.

4.  Take down the fence.  Make the centerfielder have to run it down and throw it back in no matter how far it travels.

5.  The right fielder must turn completely around and talk to the aforementioned friends on a regular basis.

6.  The manager must do his job while two to three players every inning are asking, “What inning is it?” and  ”Are we going to get snow cones after the game?”

7.  The catcher is free to comment on the batter’s wardrobe… wears “pink panties” is assured a strike or two. (The batter is allowed to retort…”got them from your drawer.”)  If they would put mics on these guys, it could be interesting.

8.  If you don’t have nine players show up you are allowed to pull in kids from other teams… as long as they are not very good.

9.  From time to time the pitcher must uncork one into the bleachers.

10.  If you get a wild pitch thrown into the bleachers, a foul ball out of play, or even one that got away from the catcher and went through the whole in the bottom of the fence… take it to the concession stand and you can get a free coke.  Have a whole roving band of folks who converge on such balls, biting, throwing elbows, snatching the ball and running for their life… wait that’s the major leagues too.

11.  Have every player’s dad yell pointers from the bleachers.

12.  Have every player’s mom yell grooming, hygene, and wardrobe instructions from the bleachers.  At least once a game, a mother must run out and pull up her son’s pants and refasten his belt.

13.  Make the outfielders run the ball into the infield because you don’t trust them to throw it.

14.  Have the outfielders ignore rule 13, and any “cut-off” man who may be there.  Not matter how far they are from the plate (see rule #4) they must try to throw it all the way… with a trajectory that low flying plans have to dodge.

15.  There must be at least one delay while you wait on a batter to return from the restroom.

16.  Have a real “home field” advantage.  Forget the well manicured grass with the checkerboard pattern  (how do they do that?).  There is nothing like tall grass, a few mudholes, and a mother bird with a nest  to make tracking flyballs more interesting.  On top of that, add an umpire who is a big brother to one of the players, and who has an obvious grudge against the opposing team.

17.  The team in the field must have one bored player on the ground, playing in the dirt at all times.

18.  After the game the winning team must run from the dugout, cheering, excited, and ecstatic to be headed to the concession stand for “team cokes” (paid for by a volunteer parent).  They are to be followed by the losing team… doing the exact same thing.

  That’s just a few of the rule changes I would suggest.  What about you?  Have any suggestions?  (Maybe the home team has to choose, at random, one person from the bleachers to play righ field in the sixth inning.)

  Isn’t it amazing… we wouldn’t dare do that to a game.  Games have rules.  Yet, many are very comfortable to do that with reality, particularly when it comes to religion.  You hear people say things like, “I don’t believe a loving God will condemn anyone.” .  Ask them why and they will tell you how loving God is all through the Bible.  Yes, the same Bible that mentions Hell.  “Jesus I accept, its the church I reject,” others add.  Yet, it’s Jesus who said He would build the church, and purchase it with his blood.  “God knows who loves Him, I don’t see any reason I have to go to worship services.”  Yet, it is that same God who calls his people together to encourage one another and gather around the ritual of the Lord’s Supper.  We might opt for the flannel board Jesus of VBS… one we can move to suit us, then put back in the box when we are done, but don’t do it.  It is the living God who can save.  Take it from Isaiah, man made gods aren’t worth the firewood they are carved from.

 In the end, God is who He is.  We can accept Him or reject Him.  What we don’t get to do is remake Him into an image that is a little more comfortable for us.