The Blog Is Back

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  I know the title sounds like the sequel to a low budget, “B” horror film, but its just me letting you know I’ve called a hiatus to the hiatus, and hope you’ll put me back on your list.

  I put the site on hold while I worked on a CD study idea.  The study isn’t ready for email and pitching to publishers yet, but its close.  (More about that once its done.)  While on break our daughter, son-in-law, and grandson came to visit.  That was a blast.  Its so much fun.  When you’re the parent and they misbehave, you have to correct them.  Grandparents?  Our job is to cover our mouth so they don’t see us giggling.

   They headed back to Fort Bragg today… not at all upset that they are missing Michelle Obama’s surprise visit. (It would have probably meant special “landscaping duty” for Ryan’s highly trained, elite 82nd Airborne helicopter crew.)

   While I have been away from the blogosphere, people have been busy being… well… people.

THE NEW “JEREMIAH 10:23 AWARDS”

• In the “communications breakdown” department, I saw where they just discovered the secret message sent  to the president… President Lincoln.  It was inscribed inside his watch.   I am sure he always looked in there; cannot believe he missed it.  The Germans however are not to be outdone.  They gave one last chance for a prominent Berlin Mathematician to pay his TV licensing fee.  I am not sure what that is, but I doubt he pays it… seeing as he has been dead 450 years.  [If they want, I am sure we can spare a few beuracrats to help them straighten out their billing system.]

• In Charlotte County, Florida, David Hampton achieved his minutes of fame.  After stealing money from a register his escape failed when his car ran out of gas.  The business he knocked over?  An Exxon gas station.  Once again, however, we were outdone by the Europeans.  David was defeated in “OOPS” competition by a fellow in Marsielle, France.  The entire night was spent cutting his way through the outer wall of the bank and into the vault.  After chiseling and cutting his way through concrete and steel he at last could crawl inside.  Crawling in just before daylight, he lit a match to discover… a toilet.  He missed the vault and broke into the bank bathroom.  I am sure when the police, responding to the silent alarm, found him he was sitting in floor, face in his hands, shaking his head, and muttering to himself.

• I am not sure the category, but it seems the Postal Service in Buffalo, NY has a rogue deliverer.  Watch out out for him!  It seems he insists on walking on sidewalks rather than cutting across the lawn.  OOOH!  They have vowed to put an end to it.

  But the winners of the Jeremiah 10:23 award for this post are the guys who drive one of these (see picture). 

They are “Homemade Submarines!” 

How do you find pilots for these things?

  “See, here’s what we’re going to do… you’ve been wanting to go to America… L.A., San Diego.  All you have to do is get in this little homemade submarine we made. 

Don’t worry we’ve attached these little “breathing tubes” that will float up to the surface so you can get a little air.  And you won’t be alone… you’ll have a couple of buddies, and, oh, if you don’t mind, we’re going to send along about 10 tons of cocaine.  I know, I know… That makes us lowlife drug dealers who scavenge our millions off the ruined dead bodies of addicts; but we got your back…trust us! 

   Here’s what we’ll do.  We’ll put you out by Tumaco (Columbia, S.A.) and all you have to do is sail this vessel 3000 miles through the Pacific Ocean, up the coast to California.  It will be kinda cramped, but its only two weeks. 

Will the whole crew share a bathroom?  Of course not! There is no bathroom.  We had to put the drugs somewhere.

No… you don’t get to stop in Acupulco!  I don’t care how bad you have to go. 

Yes we call them “Coffins,” but its just for endearment.  Of course, if the US coast guard catches you, well… if the coffin fits….

I wonder, How far on the journey do they get before they realize its a really bad idea?  And exactly how do you know if one of these things starts to sink?

    Feel free to make your own nominees for the Jeremiah 10:23 awards.  I would like to think they are rare, but I know better.  People are constantly amazed at how we can mess up the world.  I fear its not all that amazing.  It appears we were never equipped, and never meant to run it.   Despite our best attempts at goodness, violence hangs in the shadows.  One generation’s amazing insights are the next’s foolishness.  That’s not to even mention our guilt and shame.  If we were just “misbehaving” we could be trained better.  If we were just ignorant of what to do, we could be taught.  The truth is we are helpless… we have to be rescued.  We are dead… we have to be resurrected.  There is only one who can do that.

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