Palm Reading

 

   We lived in Arkansas for 13 years and saw only a couple of snows that were of any good (ie. snow men, snow ice cream).  Now we are here in Mississippi, and they have had more than that this month.  I hope everyone up there is settled in by a heater with a good movie and hot chocolate.  If you love the snow… congratulations!  Out of school? Celebation!  Don’t like it?  You could be in Washington D.C.  (Of course you could also be in Key Largo, Cabo, or Martinique.)      

  If you haven’t been able to keep the snow off your satellite dish, you may have missed the prominent news story shaking the airwaves.  Iran is ratcheting up its nucleur program another notch, Haiti conitinues to dig out from under its infrastructure, the west coast has been hit with major mudslides, the Winter Olympics are about to begin, and the New Orleans Saints fans won’t be wearing the “Ain’ts” sacks on their heads anymore… but that news will have to wait.  CBS and other major news  sources have uncovered a scandal that will shake this country to its foundation.  They have had their eye on those “Tea Party” folks for some time.  Something was very suspicious.  How could a movement be so conservative and yet so popular?  They knew there had to be something sinister behind this cloak of popular uprising.  How else, they thought, could you explain the popularity of their image bearer… Sarah Palin?      

  But now, thanks to clandestine photographic work, all is laid bare!  After mulling over countless photos with magnifying glass in hand,  there is definitive proof from the Tea Party National Convention.  They caught her red (actually black) handed.  She wrote the talking points to her speech on her HAND!  Gasp! Shock! Horror!  Can you believe what she says if she has to use crib notes?  What about the children?  Will we ever be able to stop kids from writing on themselves with ballpoint now that it is paraded on National TV?  It is an outrage!    

  I guess you might note there is an air of sarcasm in my tone.  Some of you may actually think this is a huge matter worthy of pushing Haiti and Justice Alito shaking his head and mouthing “not true” right off the front page of the news.  However, before you get too wound up, let me ask you, can you think of moments when you wish the person would have wrote a reminder to themselves?   Remember a time when you wish you’d left yourself a note?    And Sarah’s not the only one.  I offer you these from the archives of hands…         

Custer forgot to check his hand at Little Big Horn

     

   

  

      

Remembering lines was tough on young Stallone

    

      

      

 

Jotted down during long-winded middle ages sermon

 

 

 

 My hand last Sunday 

    There is a real serious point in the midst of this all.  It really does not matter that she wrote her notes on her hand.  Regardless of whether you agree with her, her ideas are not any less viable because she used her palm for her talking points.  Maybe she has plans, if elected someday, to pay-off some of the national debt by selling all the governments teleprompters on Ebay.

  No, this is about something much more important than her method of speech delivery.  Creeping ever so slyly through the national garden of our culture is a slithering serpent called “slander.”  He has always lived here and needed periodically be beaten back with a hoe.  It seems, however, that more and more of a stage is granted this serpent, and more and more money devoted to feeding it.  From celebrities, to heros, to leaders of every stripe there seems to be an obsession with making sure we not hold them in too good a light.  The papparazzi of dirt seem to exploit every little possible opening  in hopes of sinking deadly venom into their reputation and the spirits of everyone else.  We should not judge, the culture says… we should leave that to the media to do for us.    

   We would do well to remember that the world’s Lord said such a spirit and act are sin.  Whether in print or on the news… slander is still diabolical.  So next time you see a story trying to demean and undermind somone, ask yourself, “Why are they running this?”.  There is always more news than a newscast can put on the air, so, “Why is this one so important to the newscasters?”  You may see a poisonous reptile crawling on its belly across the screen, sneaking up on its victim.     

   On the other hand, remember that God writes on His hand as well.  His writings are not the source of denigration, however, but of value, worth, and treasure.  He says through the prophet Isaiah…     

 ”Can a mother forget the baby at her breast
       and have no compassion on the child she has borne?
       Though she may forget, I will not forget you!       

  See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands    (Is. 49)     

   Not only did God write it down, he wrote again in blood.  There were never such palms as His palms.  No ones hands ever said as much about you and I, or as much about the one to whom they belong as did the hands of Jesus.  For as the songwriter says, when we see Him we shall know Him… by the nail prints in His hands.   And what does He think of us?  Read his palms!

Travel Guide to the UK

  Are you traveling for Groundhog’s day?  You never hear of Groundhog’s day vacations, but I am seriouly considering it for next year.  Think about it; when better to head for the sunny coast and kick a little beach sand in a leisurely stroll by the ocean… than when its 30 degrees back home.  I hope Phil did us right up in Pennsylvania today.  “Early Spring” or “Six more weeks of winter;” I want to know what means “Summer starts tomorrow!”  We might work on training him for next year.

    If you are thinking about traveling to England for the holidays (Groundhogs’ Day/Valentines Day) you might want to reconsider.  Something strange is going on there… probably because of global warming.

Take for instance the logic of James Snell in Wales.  “Why not use my own car for the bank robbery… maybe I’ll even get to flash my new personalized license plate on TV.”   Christopher Walker in Birmingham could have helped James out.  “You don’t need a car,” he’d instructed him, ”just rob the bank across the street from your house… in full view of the security cameras.”

  Whatever it is that is effecting folks, it is heightening their safety concerns…

•  The police department in London upgraded their manuals… including 93 pages instructing officers how to ride a bicycle (complete with diagrams on safely navigating those perilous right and left turns). 
•  The health department is looking into putting up new barriers at bowling alleys.  They are trying to be a step ahead of someone getting cought inthe pin-setting machine should they try to knock over the pins by hand.
• In one county they asked a flooring company to remove the balloons celebrating their opening.  “All the colors could distract drivers,” and “what happens if a balloon comes loose and a small child chases it into the street,” were some of the council’s reasons.
• And what about the safety of the cows?  In West Yorkshire they are on top of things.  The Environmental Health department fined Ronald Norcliffe for not adequately lighting his barn.  Inspectors concluded that he was not meeting the psychological needs of his one cow and calf.  (It should be of note that the one dim bulb in his barn is one more than Ronald Norcliffe has in his house.)

  But even in bizarre times with eery twists on every turn there are gems waiting to be found.  Just ask “Five” the elephant at a West Midlands Safari Park. Recently she found a harmonica someone had dropped in her enclosure.  Park keepers say she has be blowing ever since; scarcely putting it away to catch her breath.  “She was playing tunes in days” they said.

  And ask the unnamed 55 year old unemployed man wasting his weekends walking the beach with his old outdated metal detector  looking for loose change.  You can’t really expect to find many coins with a rickety machine like that…of course it seems to have worked fine on 1500 pieces of 7th century gold and silver bullion.  Along with the parts of helmets and daggers, his find is valued at about 1.6 million.  I’ll bet the man still doesn’t have a job.

   My apologies to all the Brits who read my blog… I am sure there are many.   It is certainly not fair to paint a whole country by a few isolated acts.  Wouldn’t you hate it if people took your worst moments and characterized you by them?  “I don’t go to church, there are too many hypocrites there,” they say. [Of course they are quite content to stay in the world with hypocrites.]  “You claim to be a Christian… how could you______?” 

  The truth is we all are trying to get it together.  Baptism isn’t where we accomplished the task, its where we began.  The fellow next to me inthe pew is just a fellow traveler; we’re trying to get each other to a place in our spirit and character we have never been.  And God?  He assures us, sometimes we will kick ourselves for some idiotic thing we’ve done, and kick ourselves again.  But you won’t find one of His boot prints.  “We have this assurance when our hearts condemn us,” John says, “God is greater than our hearts.”  Don’t judge people by their worst moments… self included.

Richard Dawkins is ill… a brain virus

There is sunshine and a warm glowing sun in Greenville.  We haven’t had much of that since the new year started.  The rain we’re used to, but that bone chilling cold was something.  The different reactions to weather are startling.  My mom had a record snowfall in OKC, shut the place down for  a few days.  Meanwhile, a friend in the northeast endured the same snowfall… barely delayed school openings.  Then, on another day, 3″ of snow didn’t postpone school.  On the same day in the delta there was concern that the cold weather combined with water on the roads would make for icy conditions come time for school dismissal.  You guessed it… they turned out school for the afternoon.  The kids are now setting up the rumor of a blizzard interupting our 50 degree day… hoping it’ll make school administrators antsy.

  Of course the earthquake in Haiti is the dominant news.  I can’t imagine the heartache and sheer desperation that must accompany many who are homeless, without food, water, without family.  I will add my name to the list of people who wish someone would put a hand over the mouth of Pat Robertson.  Even if the Lord were bringing Haiti into some kind of judgment (1) How would Robertson know this? and (2) Why in the world did God pass us by first?  At least the press is giving Robertson some grief.  When that great climatologist “Danny Glover” said it was judgment stemming from our failure at the global warming summit, there was scarcely an echo heard in the news community.  Interesting.

  Headlining the “I don’t think I would have said that” category, however, are the atheist bus campaigns in 2009.  I recently read an article where atheists voted these campaigns their top news story of the year.  Really?  See if this picture strikes you the same way it did me?

Probably?  If you are an atheist, this has to shake you up a bit.  You have got a whole lot riding on this.  It has to make you nervous. 
“Take a trip to Kabul, Afghanistan… you probably won’t be caught in a deadly explosion.”  “Sleep well… leave the door unlocked, sure there is evidence of crime in the area, but you probably won’t be hit tonight.”  You probably won’t get cancer, or alheimers, or diabetes… so eat what you want, do what you want.  “Probably” has to be unsettling.

     Of course there is a reason for the “probably.”  There is a reason it doesn’t just say, “There is no god.”  If you are an atheist, “probably” has to be there.  As soon as you say there is no god, you will contract a brain virus.  The man in the picture is noted atheist Richard Dawkins.  In Dawkins bestseller, The God Delusion, that’s what he calls leaps of faith that have no credible basis… a “brain virus.”  Yet, its among atheism’s achilles heels.  They cannot prove God does not exist (one cannot realistically prove a negative) nor can they definitively prove an alternative to creation actually occured.  Even if someone could fit all the data into one tight theory (which it doesn’t), it could only remain a theory.  All one could say is, ”It could have happened this way….”  Asserting how it “could” have happened and establishing how it “did” happen are two very different things all together.  One does not lead to the other.

  Then, of course, is the ultimate kicker… if you believe there is “probably not a god”… you’ll never know if you are right.  On the other hand, if the evidence holds up that there is a God and he is interested in how we live… that we’ll all know is true.

  In the end Dawkins holds his faith together by something he cannot establish… ie.  it requires a long, running jump; a  leap of faith.  He has to hope for an explanation and evidence that hasn’t shown up yet.  He does… he suffers from a brain virus.  Let us all pray for his quick recovery.  Danny

Google, Crocs, Wii, and Twitter… Welcome 2010

   Hold on to your hat… 2010 is leaving the station.  Not “leaving” like a locomotive picking up steam, “leaving” like the Superman ride at Six Flags.  Grab ahold of the safety bar… let out a scream… and prepare for the loops.  It’s going to be a wild ride.

   Just think of what the last ten years have held!  Can you imaging going back to 1999 and having any of these conversations:

   “I can’t decide whether to work on my blog or just twitter an update.”

  “Hey, what are you doing?” 

“Oh, me, I am just listening to my Blackberry.” 

“So a blackberry is talking to you?” 

“No, don’t be silly… I’ve got a new app that plays music while I’m texting my friends.” 

 ”Really?” 

“Oh yea, he just bluetoothed me a new youtube video that is off the hook.” 

(I have no clue what he would think the value of a blue tooth was,  he’ll probably just check his teeth in the mirror, gently move away from you, then turn and run.)

   And its not just these… ten years ago folks would have thought it some bizarre ritual that you take off your shoes before going past the metal detector at the airport.  And if you got past the detector without a wand being passed over you, you might put your foot back in a croc.  Tell a friend from the 90’s to put their foot in a croc… I think they’d just shake their head, and wonder what agency to call first: hospital, psychiatrist, or SPCA. 

   They would probably be wondering if a person from the ’10’s went “green” from the villianous “Transfats” (not an oriental blues player), or from eating “organic food” (as opposed to the artificial, inorganic varieties).   Perhaps you went green not from food, but “surfing” the web, or spending the afternoon on the Wii.  Perhaps it was the 153rd showing of High School Musical that did it.  At any rate it would be interesting to see how a 1990’s sophisticated, cool “dude” (I remember 90’s lingo) would react if you told him, “Check your GPS,”  “I got a new Ipod,” or “I think I’ll unload my Hummer for a new Volt… think Cash for Clunkers will cover it?.”  If they don’t know what you mean, help them out, tell them to pick up your laptop, close out the pictures you downloaded off your cell phone,  and “Google” it.  Hopefully they will have a sense of humor, or they may punch you.

  In my family we are beginning the new year with my wife sitting by the bed of her passing father.  Born in 1914, he saw most of the last century and the beginning of this one.  Born on the eve of WW1, he helped save the world in WW2, saw the Berlin wall built… and torn down, saw 9/11 and the beginning of the war or terrorism.  Medicine, transportation, entertainment… everything around him has changed.  That is, all but one thing…

Swift to its close ebbs out life’s little day;
Earth’s joys grow dim; its glories pass away;
Change and decay in all around I see;
O Thou who changest not, abide with me.

There is one who lives above all the swirling change, and is not threatened.  He is glad to answer the plea.

Not a brief glance I beg, a passing word;
But as Thou dwell’st with Thy disciples, Lord,
Familiar, condescending, patient, free.
Come not to sojourn, but abide with me.

Come not in terrors, as the King of kings,
But kind and good, with healing in Thy wings,
Tears for all woes, a heart for every plea—
Come, Friend of sinners, and thus bide with me.

In 2010, and for whatever years may follow, He wants to abide with us all.  I pray He will.

Three Disappointing Heros?

    I hope you enjoyed the Christmas holiday.  It has been a wild one around here.  Like a lot of preachers I focused on Christmas for the last few weeks.  Our devotional blog seems to have been a success (www.lightfrombethlehemstar.wordpress.com) with many viewings and cd’s shared.  Then on Christmas eve we picked our way through the flooding and made it to Hardy, Arkansas (in-laws home) for Christmas.  It was a good time with “standing room only” in the house.   Driving back, detoured off of Hwy 67 by flooding, we drove through Jacksonville… my heart went out for those folks.  Our prayers are with all those flooded out on Christmas eve.

   Now that Christmas is done, its on to the other half of the holidays… Bowl Season.  I am anxious to get to the “big games” to see how the Big 12 conference will fare.  It will of course lead up to “the game.”  As an Oklahoma fan it feels really strange to be pulling for Texas.

  Part of me agrees with those writers lamenting it has been somewhat of an “off year” for college football.  I guess it’s partly due to my Sooners having such a bad run this year .  (One kid went out for Halloween with a cast on his arm and leg, and rolled around in a wheelchair.  “What are you?” they asked.  “I’m an OU football player,” he responded.)  It seemed somewhat fitting that the regular season ended with Tim Tebow crying on the sidelines after the Alabama loss.

   Many, they said were disappointed in the “big three” this year:   Sam Bradford, Colt McCoy, and Tim Tebow.  After all Bradford only lasted about two games total.  “He came back and wasted all that NFL money,” they harangue. McCoy had a good year… but it wasn’t as good as the last three, and he still had to stand there while someone else won the Heisman.  And Tebow… well… an off year and then “crying” on the sidelines.  “What kind of hero is that?,” they mock.  Tarnished their images… disappointed their fans… are just some of what has been said.

   Excuse me….

   Disappointing is finding out the greatest basketball player who ever played the game is also a dominating  jerk with a chip on his shoulder.  Using his induction into the Hall of Fame to reveal what many close people already knew: the forgiveness extended to him by the public (remember the whole gambling episode) would not be extended by him.  He came across as arrogant and amazingly “small time” in what should have been his crowning moment… that’s disappointing.  Seeing the Olympian crawl out of the pool with eight gold medals and enshrined as the new icon of his sport… then run for the bong.  That’s disappointing.  Then to find out the most prolific golfer of his time, perhaps ever, used his millions to betray his wife and family… that’s disappointing.

  When I look at Tebow, McCoy, and Bradford there is no disappointment here.  They have handled their disappointments with a character their older sports colleagues would do well to emulate.  Heartbreaking?  Yes!  Sam Bradford will get a lot smaller paycheck than if he would have turned pro last year.  McCoy will never win his Heisman trophy, and Tim Tebow will hang up the “Superman” cape without another national championship… and they will have done it with class and dignity.  I hope it has been with a smile.  I hope a thousand young sports stars will chant, “I want to be like Sam… or Colt… or Tim.”  For, as Proverbs notes… “out of the heart flows the springs of our life.”  Jesus himself adds that you can know a tree by its fruit… good people do good because of the good that is in their heart.  You simply can’t replace character. 

   Someday a person may write a book about sports heros.  With Jordan, Phelps, and Woods… he’ll have to pick his words carefully as he “spins” 2009.  There will be no spin needed for Bradford, McCoy, and Tebow.  They will be able to to put the book “2009, A Year In Sports” on their coffee table and be proud.  Thanks guys.

It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

  The holidays are in full swing.  We got an early start this year.  My son-in-law was in from Afghanistan on leave in November, so we got the tree and everything up right after Halloween.  (Well, almost everything… I promised I would get the wreaths out this afternoon.)  [Of course, celebrating it ahead means they didn't actually celebrate it on Jesus' birthday... but, oh well.]  Mary tells me we have almost finished our Christmas shopping, and driving around town makes me glad of that.  (Christmas eve is so exciting; I can’t wait to see what we got everyone.)

    I hope you are getting the special people in your life something they will love this season.  If you are looking for some great gift ideas here are a few.

This house in Australia is for sale.  It looks normal enough, except that it continually rotates.  That has to be interesting.

Here are some fashion ideas from a recent show.  Nothing says “love” like a new outfit.

I hear you can get great deals on real estate… on the moon.  The Lunar Embassy in Prague (a real agency) says sales have been slow… with housing market and all.

  It seems the president loved his gift.  [This photo settles it, even when you are president, sometimes your "coolness" slips.  Notice the first lady's expression.  You get the feeling she's been there for these "cool-challenged" moments before.]

Of course you could get the man of the house a new lawnmower….

   The list goes on and on.  I still have one of the great gifts I have ever received… “The Ronco Pew Appreciater.”  Given to me by a dear friend in Tennessee, it was a square frame with small nails forming a cross.  The instructions directed that in the course of a long sermon just set this underneath whatever part of your body was feeling the hard pew and a renewed appreciation would come in minutes.  I keep the present hid because… afraid the kids will start carrying it to services on a regular basis.

What’s the most bizarre gift you have ever received?

  I don’t know the most bizarre; but I do know the most incredible.  The spirit of Christmas is that God “gave” His son… His son “gave” his life.  He paid a debt we could not pay… and we owe a debt we can never repay.  If Christmas means anything its because the one in the manger was the Divine come to be one of us.  And if He really came, then everything is different.  If He wasn’t divine then celebrating is an absurdity and a delusion.  If He was… then its a spiritual earthquake that rocks the world still, 2000 years later.   The God of all creation is in a battle of love to save all men.

    The absurd thing is to sing the songs, praise the baby, and then do nothing…to sing “Hark the highest heaven adores Christ the everlasting Lord,” then live like He was anything less.  If He was just a baby… walk on.  If He was “Immanuel,”  “God with us,” then bow at His feet and serve Him all your life.  He is worthy of no less.

   Joy to the World the Lord is come, let earth receive her king.  Let every heart prepare Him room, and heaven and nature sing.

Join in

  Sorry I haven’t posted in a while.  I have been busy on another internet project.  If you are looking for something new to do for this holiday season, join the devotional group at lightfrombethlehemstar.wordpress.com.  I am planning on posting a devotional each day until Christmas.  Hope you will join in and that it will help fill your holidays with the wonder of the season.

Does claustrophobic mean you are scared of Santa Claus?  (Due credit to that purveyor of deep wisdom… Sponge Bob.)

Where Did We Put The Church?

  I hope you enjoyed the holidays.  I think there is some providence in Thanksgiving that I never noticed before.  It occured to me that, although it takes hours to prepare a Thanksgiving meal, the time it takes to consume it is roughly equivalent to half-time of a good football game.  Amazing!

  We had a great Thanksgiving.  The first in a long time we were able to share with all our children (and 2 grandchildren)… though our son-in-law was en route back to Afghanistan.  It wasn’t without its cost.  We drove six hours on Wednesday and Thursday afternoons.  One son paid the ultimate cost… missed the Cowboys’ football game. (If you have a recording I’m sure Neil would appreciate it.)

   We tried our best to stay healthy… “fork ups,” “plate presses,” “pie sprints” (when you realize there is only one more piece… and someone is headed that way), and “ice tea stretches” helped us work off the calories.  Then of course there is the obstacle course that follows right after, “Has anyone seen the remote?”  [It's not like the old days... we wore ourselves out getting up and turning that channel selector knob.]

  Speaking of “losing things,” a recent video made me glad God is omniscent.  If he weren’t, do you think He would lose the church.  “I know I put it right here, but when I came back it was gone.”  Take this trip to Bubble Creek Canyon and maybe you’ll see what I mean.

“Live such good lives among the pagans that although they accuse you of doing wrong they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day He visits us.”  (I Peter 2: 12)

Giving Thanks

  We have a long standing policy in our family.   Anytime I use one of our kids in a sermon illustration I have to take them out to eat at the place of their choice.  I haven’t extended that policy to the blog… Houston’s quips are too frequent to finance.  I probably should avoid pictures of them, however.  But just this once I am going to risk it.  I may have to personally interpret the response… maybe…”steak house.”

 Enoch, our second grandchild was born just last week.  Mom and baby are doing fine… and the grandparents are really proud.  Our son-in-law got here from Afghanistan with a couple of days to spare, and then Neil was able to drive down from Arkansas.  So Mary and I had about the best gift we could have.  For 24 hours we had all our kids… and 2 grandkids together with us.  It was a great blessing… and called for an early beginning to Thanksgiving.

  So what are you thankful for this year?  I like this trend where some are posting some “thankful thing” everyday on Facebook.  Others are reflecting and counting their blessings.  All these are good because Thanksgiving is slowly getting squeezed out by the commercial sprawl of Halloween and Christmas.  These once independent holiday communities already touch at the edges in many shopping centers.  There are lots of reasons for it, I am sure. [ Thanksgiving doesn't have quite the catchy tunes, and you can't wear a costume.  (Of course, singing would be really hard with a belly full of turkey.  And I guess you could go as a pilgrim, turkey, indian, or your grandmother's pumpkin pie... but you may get some looks.) ] It may just be we can’t wait to get started on the Christmas rush.  However, whatever the reason, avoid it,  before you run off to the priest to be pronounced clean, stop and go back and say “Thank You.”  Like the leper, you may find Jesus with an added blessing beyond your dreams.

  If you are having trouble being thankful… consider these folks:

  You could be the officers who searched the home of drug kingpin Michael Difalco in Florida.  They found convicting evidence on the kingpin’s home survellience system.  Of course the video also contained about 3 hours of the officers dutifully investigating the homes Wii system.  The captain was not thankful.

  You could be the folks in Melbourne, Australia who were scammed out of $160,000.  The local newspaper reported the con’s capture and laid bare their clever scheme.  All their neighbors found out how the cons convinced these local entrepeneurs, merchants and business owners, that $100 bills soaked in their special fluid would reproduce overnight.  (In case you want to try this at home, the special fluid was a mixture of bleach, baby powder, and hair spray.)

  Be thankful, you could be Ricky Dale Ford.  He caught my attention last month because he is from Conway, Arkansas… where we used to live.  Ricky stole a four wheeler.  During the get away/joy ride he hit a bee hive.  He had been stung over a 100 times and was barely breathing when the police found him. 

  You could be a member of the Yakuza organized crime syndicate in Japan.  They are giving all their members written tests on the law.  They are concerned with the rising number of lawsuits.  I am sure it is a problem.

  Finally, you could be Deshawn Stevenson of the Washington Wizards.  Deshawn went to the tatto parloo to get a “P” tattoo for his much loved “Pittsburgh Pirates.”  However, his illiterate artist wrote the letter backwards… a “9.”  Stevenson said it wasn’t that bad, at a distance it still looked like a “P.”  Yeah, right; and I’m sure it looks good in the mirror too.

   Seriously, if you think you have overwhelming troubles, look around.  I think God gives us the resources for whatever the challenges we face.  If we were forced to walk in another’s footsteps we might be crushed.  So take a journey, find someone with a load that would bury you, and don’t even ask… just help.  And don’t forget to be gracious, humble, and gentle (cf Galatians 6:1ff).

  One more thing… a man with something to be thankful.  At Beaver Brook Golf Course in Haydenville, Massachusetts they have a prize for making a hole in one.  Todd Obuchowski is thankful he had eight friends to witness his shot on May 24, 1998… and for Nancy Bachand.  His tee shot went over the green… and onto the highway behind it.  There it hit Nancy Bachand’s passing Toyota, bounced back… on the green…into the cup.

I hope he split the prize with her.

Hope you have lots to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.

Wal Mart expands again…

Imagine this, you are in line at Wal-Mart, and while you pretend to be reading a news artcle, “Discovered: Alien Baby White Seals Are The Real Cause of Global Warming,” your eye keeps glancing over at the cart in front of you.  You want to ask… but you don’t.  You want to stare… but you are afraid they’ll think you’re casing their items for a meeting in the parking lot, or the number on their credit card.  The clerk starts ringing up their items… the soap, the dogfood, the latest edition of Wii fit, bread, motor oil, a new shirt, underwear, a casket, art supplies….  Stop!  Yes I did say that! “A casket!”  If you haven’t heard you can now by caskets from Wal Mart.  They now cover your whole life from infant wear to suits with a slit in the back, baby beds all the way to “final resting place.”

  Now that has got to put a different feel on the place; doesn’t it?  You thought it was uncomfortable getting all those strange looks as you walk through the women’s underwear section (for men), spend a little time browsing in the coffins.  And don’t even think about laying one on the floor so you can try it for size.  Oh, and the pranks… someone sneak a rack of cough suppresant to the aisle, and, of course, hiding inside.  Even the casual image of a shopping cart being pushed across the parking lot with a casket sticking out… that’s interesting. 

  Actually, sorry to get you practical joksters’ hopes up, you won’t be able to buy them in the store, or order them shipped to the store.  They will only be shipped to your home.  And… I guess that’s better.  Pity the poor UPS man who goes into the back of his truck to find a delivery and sees his first casket… then rolling it up the steps of the house.  The neighbors are all coming out in tears, gathering around to mourn, wondering who it was.  They are all thinking, “She seemed so young” and “Since when did they start making ambulance runs in a UPS truck?”  Or you’re driving down the street in your subdivision of cookie cutter houses, and laying there by the front door of a neighbor… a casket.  I dare venture it would have to turn your head for a moment.

   So go ahead and get yours now, before everyone finds out and there is a big run on ‘em.  After all it is the shopping season just ahead… this could be the “Tickle Me Elmo” of 2009.  No sense waiting until the last minute.  Buy one, set it on its end in your coat closet… that’ll set your guest back for a moment.  (You might find them looking real close at your incisors and talking about “Twilight” a little more than the past.)  Store it in the attic or basement… your serviceman won’t mind moving it when he needs.   Or, you could take it out and use it.  It looks like it would make a great coffee table; maybe a card table, or tv stand.  Large crowd coming for a gathering?  Line it with plastic, fill it with ice and canned drinks.  Or build some temporary shelves, stand it on its end with a block of ice in the bottom and its an old time “ice box.”  [Part of me wants to say "spare bed," but that one even gives me a chill.]

   The truth is we are a little taken back with Wal Mart being so comfortable with death.  Yet, if you want to sell a product that reaches a lot of people?  Not everyone needs toys, sporting goods, and gardening supplies… but the odds of dying are 1 out of 1.  Someday everyone will come to see you at the front of the church.  Until Jesus comes, “death” and “births” are neck and neck in the list of universal experiences.  (One piece of good news… on the very last day, “birth” is going statistically blow “death” out of the water for the “most common human experience.”  Birth had a slight lead until Jesus kept messing up funerals and letting folks die twice… but its got a big finish in mind.)

  Even though dying is one of the “basics” of living, we would just as soon keep it just out of sight, where we don’t see it, and can’t feel its chilly breath.  And yet, if we brought it closer, we would see something amazing.  Death is the aged boxer.  At one time it seems he could rip your head off your shoulders with one blow… but now his punch would hardly unsteady your feet.  The flame of life may sway a little, but the wind of death can’t put it out.  Death has lost its sting… “lost its punch” (I Cor. 15:55-56, Holman trans.)  We will walk through the doorway with hardly a jostle.  Satan screams at us to be afraid of dying…and at times we all shudder; but Satan lies.  Jesus says, the mortal will be released and we will put on immortality.  It’s what comes after death…that is the issue.

For those in Jesus, the tattered tent we wander around with in this world will be tossed aside and be replaced with the luxury and beauty of a temple (Paul).  The book of our lives, tattered and frayed, will find itself released in a new edition, one revised by it’s publisher.

I love these lines from Pilgrim’s Progress…

Now I further saw that betwixt them and the gate was a river; but there was no bridge to go over: the river was very deep. At the sight, therefore, of this river, the pilgrims were much astounded; but the men that went with them said, “You must go through, or you cannot come at the gate.”

The pilgrims then began to inquire if there was no other way to the gate; to which they answered, “Yes, but there hath not any, save two, to wit, Enoch and Elijah, been permitted to tread that path since the foundation of the world, nor shall until the last trumpet shall sound”.

“Behold, I shew you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.” 1 Corinthians 15:51, 52

The pilgrims then – especially CHRISTIAN – began to despond in their minds; and looked this way and that, but no way could be found by them by which they might escape the river. Then they asked the men if the waters were all of a depth? They said, “No”; yet they could not help them in that case, for said they, “you shall find it deeper or shallower as you believe in the King of the place.”

They then addressed themselves to the water; and entering, CHRISTIAN began to sink. And crying out to his good friend, HOPEFUL, he said, “I sink in deep waters, the billows go over my head; all his waves go over me.”

Then said the other, “Be of good cheer, my brother; I feel the bottom, and it is good.” Then said CHRISTIAN, “Ah! my friend, the sorrows of death have compassed me about; I shall not see the land that flows with milk and honey. And with that a great darkness and horror fell upon CHRISTIAN, so that he could not see before him; also here he, in great measure, lost his senses, so that he could neither remember nor orderly talk of any of those sweet refreshments that he had met with in the way of his pilgrimage. But all the words that he spake still tended to discover that he had horror of mind, and hearty fears that he should die in that river, and never obtain entrance in at the gate; here also, as they that stood by perceived, he was much in the troublesome thoughts of the sins that he had committed, both since and before he began to be a pilgrim ….  HOPEFUL, therefore, here had much ado to keep his brother’s head above water; yea, sometimes he would be quite gone down, and then ere awhile he would rise up again half dead….  HOPEFUL added this word, “Be of good cheer, Jesus Christ maketh thee whole “; and with that CHRISTIAN brake out with a loud voice, “Oh, I see him again! and he tells me, ‘When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee’”. Isaiah 43:2

Then they both took courage, and the enemy was after that as still as a stone, until they were gone over. CHRISTIAN therefore presently found ground to stand upon; and so it followed that the rest of the river was but shallow. Thus they got over.

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“What do you want to be like when you grow up. little girl?” 

“Alive!”     (from The Singer  by Calvin Miller)